Grief is not a performance—and it does not follow a three-day bereavement policy, a set of stages, or anyone else’s timeline. In this conversation, Fanny Tristan speaks with Shelby Remillard, LMHC, about what it means to grieve when you are also expected to keep working, keep showing up, and make everyone else comfortable. 

They talk about the cultural, religious, family, and workplace scripts that shape how we grieve; why grief can feel taboo; and what it means to make room for both mourning and living. Shelby shares how grief groups can help people feel less isolated, build a relationship with their grief, and find compassion for the complicated parts of loss—including grief after the death of a parent, sibling, friend, pet, or someone whose death society may not know how to talk about. 

They also discuss eldest daughters who become the project managers of family loss, sibling dynamics after a death, grief avoidance, anticipatory grief, and concrete ways to support someone who is grieving without putting the burden back on them. If you are grieving—or supporting someone who is—this conversation invites you to move beyond “the right way” to grieve and toward a more expansive, human approach. 

Ready to help with your grief, individually or in a group? Let’s Chat!